1. Ensure the car is facing in the right direction.
That’s lucky, isn’t it? No, it doesn’t say what to do if the car isn’t facing in the right direction. You just have to ensure that it is.
2. Rotate and release the ignition key.
I don’t think it caught that time. Try it again. No, the manual doesn’t say to do it again. You just have to do it again, that’s all. How many times? Until it works. You’ll know when it works. Well, because it works.
3. Using your left foot, depress the brake pedal 3 inches.
I guess the manual’s American. About six centimetres. Or is it eight? Something like that. Yes, we should have a ruler in the car.
4. Move the gear selector until the indicator points to D.
5. Raise the brake pedal two inches.
6. Turn the steering wheel thirty-five degrees to the left.
That’s good – no, that looks more like thirty degrees to me. We should have a protractor in the car. I’ll make a note of it.
7. Release the brake pedal.
No, you’re not actually holding it, but you are pushing it. They mean stop pushing it. It’s a technical term. It’s probably in the glossary.
8. Using your right foot, depress the accelerator pedal one inch.
9. After five seconds, turn the steering wheel sixty-seven degrees to the right.
That’s the right. Right. No, RIGHT! Yes, it was left last time. Yes, a lot of people make that mistake.
That’s more like sixty-three degrees. Or maybe seventy. But it’s the direction that matters.
No, that’s not in the manual.
10. After twelve seconds, release the accelerator pedal and depress the brake pedal by two inches.
There’s the corner coming up – er – eleven, twelve – yes, they probably counted faster than you. You see, this is so we can go round a corner. A corner. Well, assume we do want to go round a corner. Then this is how we do it.
11. Rotate the steering wheel eighty-seven degrees to the left.
12. Release the steering wheel and allow it to return to a normal position.
That looks like a normal position to me. I guess it is. Maybe we should get a picture of the steering wheel in a normal position and put it on the dashboard? I’ll make a note of it.
13. Release the brake pedal and depress the accelerator pedal by two inches.
14. After five seconds, depress the accelerator pedal to a total of four inches.
Whoa! No, that’s a total of four inches – er, ten centimetres – not an additional four inches. Well, you push the brake. The brake! No, it doesn’t say that in the manual. You see, the manual assumes you get it right. If you get it wrong you have to improvise. No, that’s not in the manual either. A big sign in the car – ‘To slow down, press the brake’? Good idea.
Take the manual away and practice at home? Certainly, but the manual is only written for this city block. You’ll need a different manual if you want to drive anywhere else.
15. After thirty seconds, release the accelerator and depress the brake pedal by two inches.
Counting a little faster here... twenty-eight, twenty-nine…Yes, I’ll get a timer for the car.
16. Rotate the steering wheel ninety-two degrees to the left.
17. Release the steering wheel and allow it to return to a normal position.
18. Release the brake pedal and depress the accelerator pedal by two inches.
19. After five seconds, depress the accelerator pedal to a total of four inches.
I know you did all that already. You have to do it again. You have to do it every time you go round a corner. No, that’s not in the manual.
20. After eighteen seconds, release the accelerator and depress the brake pedal by four inches.
They mean push it to the bottom. Well, it could be four, it could be five. Different cars, you know. But in fact – no, I know it’s not eighteen seconds, yet, but it would be a good idea – well, because –
21. Come to a halt in front of the driving school.
Technically, yes. But you’re not supposed to do it by hitting a parked car. No, it doesn’t say that in the manual. I guess the car wasn’t there when they wrote it. Yes, it was silly of someone to put the car there. It was me, in fact. Yes, I should have read the manual more thoroughly.
Still, you’ve completed the exercise, and that’s the main thing, isn’t it?
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